Sol Magistrum Equitum Dixit

 Shadowfax from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Shadowfax from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

By Sol Pérez-Pelayo

One: The dream

Two nights ago I had a dream that would mark all of my week with causalities and consequences that made me wonder about the real meaning or perhaps foreshadowing of it. I was in a field where it smelled of rosemary, thyme, and cassias; across my feet I saw bushes and marigolds that enchanted my eyes. The air was jam-packed with a delicious pressure and it was so hot I was sweating. Mulberry trees were all around where I was and as my hand reached to caress the plants that were beneath my feet, I heard galloping, it was very fast and it came in increasing paces each time. I could hear it getting near. There was no one around me, but the dashing was getting closer every time, and it started to distress me as the strides began matching the beating of my own heart. The pounding was making my chest ache with pain and I had to kneel down to relieve it. I heard a very loud neigh and as I turned to see, my eyes were hurt for one second, I lifted my right arm to keep the sun from blinding me and there he was. The most splendid and whitest horse and I have ever seen. I thought it was Gandalf the wizard’s legendary white horse Shadowfax. He was whiter than an exposed bone in a fracture, so white it seemed to be the source of some cosmic spell, giving out light of it’s own. But this whiteness didn’t hurt me like the sun because I could see it. Feeling his tremendous existence in the same perimeter as I was made me faint. It has to be also the biggest horse I had lay eyes on; it stood on its two hind legs and had a bewildered look in it´s astonishing brown eyes. As I was staring into this striking glare, the Egyptian obelisk of the Vatican emerged behind it. He neighed again one more time making an earsplitting sound and our gaze met and then I woke up.

I woke up sweaty, dumbfounded and feeling a bit quaint. My heart was pulverizing my chest and I sat in the bed. I could still feel the roman garden’s fragrances in my nose and the thought of the horse entranced me. I have a very peculiar and distinctive relationship with horses or at least the idea of them. I really wish to have one of my own someday so we can be friends and love him dearly. They are certainly one of the animals that I love and admire the most but they also have a part of my heart that is dark and I rarely talk about. Why was that horse in my dream? Was there a horse near me that needed help? The horse in the dream wasn’t hurt but he was very upset. The exceptional connection that I feel with horses comes from this maybe unfounded but very heartfelt idea that I can communicate with them. They have always created the impression of animals who are comprehensive and that suffer beyond means. I have this incredible weird trauma with animals being hurt. I hate walking around downtown Guadalajara and see how people can still ride those “calandrias.” I can’t even begin to express my disgust to spectacles were animals such as horses are hurt and mistreated for idiotic and cruel entertainment.

Two: The memoir

The next day I had a vivid memory from my past. Somebody else in literature had a dream about a horse that was a life changing experience. Sometime around my 15 years of age, I came across one of the most influential books of my formation as a human being: Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. This book’s passages have remained in my head for a very longtime now. There is one extract that until today I have not been able to re visit and that continues to hunt my memories. Raskolnikov, the main character, had a series of dreams that foreshadowed events in his life. In one of these dreams he is a little boy and he witnesses a grisly scene of animal cruelty. It was a dark grey day and he was with his father. Outside a tavern stood a carriage with a poor old mare that couldn’t even pull it anymore. It’s driver, a cruel man kept putting people into the carriage, striking the mare harder each time, and forcing her to pull the heavy carriage. Even writing about this now is hard, my skin is full of goose bumps and believe me, its difficult, I’m getting a knot in my stomach just now. I’ll make this short because otherwise I’ll cry and never finish writing this phantasmagoria of an article I want to share with you all. The man continues to hit the mare, some people encourage him and even cheer when the mare cries and bleeds, others cry and are very vexed and sick with worry by this wretched scene. But nobody lifts a finger and the deranged chauffeur blows the mare, even in the eyes to death. This horrific scene will forever hold a place with pain in my heart. Even though it was just a dream in a book, these are things that happen every single day everywhere in the world. Evil continues to exist because the so-called “good” people do nothing about it.

 Image by  Katerina Rss

Image by Katerina Rss

Horses are superb creatures; they have certainly given all to humans asking nothing in return, like most animals have. Horses carry and not pun intended here, strong symbolism in almost every culture in the world. Horses are intelligent individuals that have made contact and communication with human beings. They are able to learn commands and tasks, consistency is key to teach a horse simple tricks and routine is also very helpful for the training of these animals. Horses also possess a very particular and interesting ability; they can associate items or voice tones to situations that often got them upset.  There were no horses in Mexico when the conquistadors came. An ancient woman of the history of Mexico called Malinche or Mallnalli who was a translator, a slave and former wife of conquistador Cortez, had an intimate connection to horses.  Malinalli felt that the horse’s eyes were mirrors that reflected everything one felt. In other words, they were mirrors to the soul.

 Another juncture between that horse of my dream and another horse came across my mind that day. I wrote my thesis for my bachelor’s degree in Philosophy and Social Sciences about Nietzsche’s works and how his personal life had a direct impact on them. On Nietzsche’s decline there is particular chapter that seemed to have made a deep mark in me, the reason as you will read now will be obvious:

It was January the 3rd 1889, in a cold morning in Turin where Nietzsche had gone off in the hopes of writing a new work that reflected his thoughts and new great ideas. The German philosopher came out his door in the Via Carlo Alberto. Across from his sidewalk something called his attention, a driver of two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage was complaining out loud about his horse, there present. The animal refused to pull the carriage or even move, the driver continues to scream and instigating the animal. The chauffer finally looses his patience and beings to beat the animal with a whip. Nietzsche appalled and horrified by this ran straight towards the horse and threw his arms around it and started sobbing like a little child. Many said he asked the horse for forgiveness on behalf of all humanity, pardon for all the cruelty all animals have suffered. Something must have hit Nietzsche’s insides for good because after this he was mute for two whole days, except for his alleged last words ever spoken'Mutter, ich bin dumm!' ('Mother, I am stupid!' in German), after this he lived 10 years without ever muttering another word.

The connection between the abdominal incident in Crime and Punishment and Nietzsche’s culminating moment, retiring from existence and presence in this world is remarkable. I’ll be totally honest here, when I made this association was one of the most consumable and rewarding moments that gave me a gratifying sentiment in my heart.  For years I couldn’t see or be near a horse and not feel awful, simulating their pain. Even their smell would make me feel uneasy, even though I have always loved them as creatures of innocence and beauty.  As Miguel de Cervantes says “It is prerogative of beauty that it should always be respected”. One time, and I recall after more than 14 years (at the time) of experience modeling, acting and photo shooting in many eerie and less than confortable situations; I came across one that was conspicuously touchy for me.

 

Three: The challenge, a blast from the past

A band from Guadalajara called Sutra (check them out they are awesome) hired me to be on the cover of their album and to appear on their music video as well. Everything was stupendous; the art was very lugubrious and dismal, notions and aesthetics that I find very appealing. The idea was of the pilgrimage of two urban witches walking blindfolded around town, carrying a horse’s corpse. Everything went well until I heard horse head and horse body, dismembering of it etc. My blood chilled. I could feel my hands getting sweaty and cold and I almost chickened out, the idea of holding a dead horse in my hands was way beyond anything I could handle. I have pretty much done very weird and gory things I won’t talk about now, but this reached something that gave electroshocks to my nervous system. Before I could freak out and make a complete fool out of myself I saw the “dead horse” was a model, it was made out of foam and even though it looked completely realistic it was lifeless, but not like life had been taken from it, but in a way that it meant it had never been alive before. I stared at its eyes, not into them. They were so real but I couldn’t feel anything. These eyes didn’t reflect my soul, these eyes were just marbles. We took all day filming this video in one the most iconic and oldest neighborhoods in Guadalajara.

There were times where I honestly felt the horse was going to come alive and start moving, I can almost say I saw it move, it was one of the most uncomfortable and challenging jobs I’ve ever done, not because I was walking around blindfolded or in a tight dress in front of people, but because I really thought this horse was going to move in any minute. I loved doing this and I’m a fan of the band but this was absolutely horrifying and hard for me. Even that scene in the Godfather with the horse’s head has got to be one of the most disturbing film scenes for me.

Four: the present

The morning after as I was getting ready for my early run, I couldn’t stop hearing this roman horse in my head and every time I blinked I saw him and his penetrating eyes glaring back at me. As a fan of metal music I make lists on my Spotify for when I do certain activities, I can almost do pretty much everything to Death or Black metal, but I had found a new taste in folk metal when I ran. There is a function called “artist radio” this makes a “station” based on a artist that you play and it plays songs that are similar or what Spotify thinks you are going to enjoy. I was around my 7th kilometer feeling unusually exhausted, when a song I had never heard before came up and I fell in love. The first thing I heard was a ceremonial group of trumpets announcing something, something of importance, a coronation perhaps. The song was called “I, Caligvla”. The vocals, guttural and strong, were very familiar but the music wasn’t. I turned over my phone and saw one of the most astounding album covers I had seen in a long time. This band is called EX DEO, it’s the side-project of Kataklysm's Maurizio Iacono. Kataklysm is one of my all time favorite bands, no wonder I recognized his voice and felt awful because I didn’t know this was his side project. I felt even more awful when I realized all his songs have to do with the ancient Roman Empire and I had never heard them before. Caligula is my favorite emperor; ever since I read Albert Camus’ play I have been overly obsessed with Caligula and his empire.

This newly found discovery of “Roman metal” made my day. The band was amazing, he had all the themes of the Roman Empire engraved in their songs and albums, however, their songs were still in English, I would be thrilled if they were all in Latin but I guess that’s a challenge. During the week I continued my investigation of Roman Metal, I found a band from Lazio called ADE, their songs are mostly in Latin and I have found both of the bands a ball to listen to, I couldn’t be happier. But the videos that I saw of the band (of EX DEO) were not that cool, the production was certainly very good but maybe its my high expectations due to a “Caligula” 1980 American- Italian film.  This film was produced by famous men’s magazine Penthouse. The intention was to make an explicit erotic, close to pornographic film with good dialogues great actors and real sex on tape portraying the sexual deviants and excesses that have characterized and stained Caligula’s reign.

Five: The emperor and the golden equus

Caligula, whose real name was Gaius Julius Caesar Germanicus (Caligula, means "little (soldier's) boot" in Latin), was a very controversial Roman emperor; he was a ruler of the Julio-Claudian dynasty. Despite Caligula's popularity with the people, the Senate expressed disparagement for what seemed to be airy eccentricities. Caligula by most history books and even the film production mentioned above is remembered as a degenerate and mad emperor who only used his power to oppress. He entered the senate and his reign with great widespread acceptance; he arrived in Rome like a true rock star. The crowd in the streets loved him and all acclaimed him, this specially because his real father was Germanicus and not the former “mad” emperor Tiberius (suffering advanced syphilis). His first year was great for the Roman Empire, he made treason papers invaluable and gave his army important benefits. Caligula pardoned exiled politicians and helped those whose life had been affected by exuberant taxes. He punished sexual offenders and had the people happy and entertained with gladiator spectacles. He built several aqueducts and made a public reform. However, nearly after this, his health declined and his attitude changed and turned in to a complete monster by engaging in activities that harmed others sexually, he also began executing people without leaving any trails, even within his own family and thus, this lead to his murder. He was emperor for about four years; he was only 28 when he was assassinated.


 

That same day after the run and lunch and all that, one of my good friends called me up to tell me she had gone to one of the most ridiculous places in our city: a nightclub. A popular place for some known to be elitist, full in my opinion with phonies that are mostly gold diggers and low self esteem beings who pretend to find love or snort coke in the bathrooms. I asked her what she was doing there; she said she was just making company for a friend. She said everyone apparently found so odd that they let her in with sneakers and that she didn’t know anyone. They thought she was a foreigner they even pretended to introduce Tequila to her. She couldn’t hear over the loud annoying music when they asked her if she had tasted it, she said no, thinking that they had asked her if she had tasted this particular brand. Somehow this tequila, worth $500 pesos per shot (no joke) was what made these people feel so above everyone else. I asked her what’s in the shot? Gold? We both laughed but to be really honest with you, I felt a little tingle in my spine with fear, really? Are people actually buying this opulence? In the nervous laughter I remembered a really cool, odd and funny fact about Caligula, His HORSE; Incitatus. 

Incitatus was the single most beloved living thing that belonged to the emperor. I read about all the oddities Caligula had for his horse. According to Suetonius a Roman historian that lived around c. 69 – after 122 AD Caligula adored his horse from birth, he had his stable made from white marble, his manger was made from ivory and he often wore purple blankets. Purple was the most expensive of tints back then and a color set apart only for royalty. He wore necklaces with precious jewels and even ate oats mixed with gold flakes (yes! Like those people in the nightclub with the tequila shots!)  He had several servants designated just for his needs, and he was a racehorse who only once lost a single race ever, the unfortunate jockey was executed. How could it be Incitatus’ fault? On the nights previous his race, absolute silence was ordered, whoever disturbed Incitatus’ sleep was killed. Caligula wanted to name him a consul in the senate and this outraged the other senators. This story has two sides like most stories. It is said for starters, that Caligula’s madness[1] had gone way overboard and his exacerbated love for his horse as well; and two, he wanted to make fun of the senators by appointing a horse with no logos and reason so it could do their job if it could live like them.

But one thing is for sure: Incitatus was the horse of my dream. Today is a full moon and I hope he gallops through my dreams to foretell me another even and screaming “cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war”.

Note: HAVOC!  Was a military signal the English used during in the Middle Age to direct soldier into attack, rapine and pandemonium. This phrase is taken from the Shakespearean from the play “Julius Caesar” (III,i 273) “Julius Caesar” after his murder to foreshadow a catastrophe.

Jim Carrey teaches us a perfect way to fight depression

 All pictures were grabbed from Jim Carrey's official Twitter page.

All pictures were grabbed from Jim Carrey's official Twitter page.

By Tom Spiegel

The world famous comedian took some time to give us a much-needed life lesson for today's society in which he shows us the ideal path to combat depression: painting.

As a comedy nut that I've always been and also a bit of a closeted psycho therapist, it's inevitable for me to analyze the most talented comics in history, or at the very least the ones who I can remember. The furthest I've gone in my research is Jonathan Winters or Don Rickles, both considered icons of the craft. In all the passion I've found throughout my never ending videos and texts, I have found a pattern that is more familiar with comedians who are more involved in the Hollywood world and worry a bit more about succeeding than actually enjoying the thrill of making people laugh. What I managed to discover in my investigation process, is that the more talented the comedian is, the more he wants to cover other artistic areas in entertainment. 

We have some incredibly quick-thinking improvisational comics, who I consider to be at the very top of the creative realm. Fair examples of this comic are the ones we will discuss in this article. Jim Carrey, Richard Pryor, TJ Miller, Gregg Geraldo, and more importantly Robin Williams; these are the prime examples of creative comic minds who sometimes cross a very thin and dangerous line that can suck their souls and sometimes even spark mental illness they didn't have before. Jim Carrey has been well-known as a diagnosed bipolar comic who has always fought with depression; he has never shied away from the burdens he has to bear every single day of his life. Being that talented has a high price, for some comics being this creative has even cost them their lives. 

There is also the more prepared and sharpened comedian who wasn't good when he started but has improved over the years to levels that only the very best can aspire. In this group of comics, you can easily find people like Ricky Gervais, Louis C.K., Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock talking about their rise to stardom and how hard they worked over the years. These guys need at least a year to write a full hour of material and another year to test it in comedy clubs before they are confident they have a good show, but the misfits like Carrey and Williams were born with the comedy spark since they were little. Both of them were lonely little boys who started developing characters at an early age without realizing they also developed mantel illness; Robin Williams developed dementia for example. 

August the 11th marks three years since Robin Williams sadly passed away after committing suicide, the icon was found hanging in a bedroom door. People already knew how depressed he was since he was young, substance abuse at an early age certainly didn't help in latter years because his illness only grew stronger. But then again, the fact that he needed so many drugs to feel better also means that even sober he didn't feel okay. Fortunately for him, Robin's family helped him find inner peace in the city of San Francisco, and we witnessed some of the most impressive work of his career during his sober years. But as all unhinged creative minds, Robin required something to keep him occupied and distracted from his always present depression. Going on bicycle rides every day seemed to help out a lot, but divorcing his wife and separating from his family was a huge blow for him. 

I remember shedding many tears when I found out about his passing; it's almost as if I had lost one of my dearest friends because I had been following his career for decades. That's when it hit me; I remembered how severe Jim Carrey's depression had been for the past few years. Personal problems had him in constant search of tranquillity and enlightenment, a sudden alarming feeling came over me, and I started researching the latest acting he's done or comedy he's performed. I quickly realized that Jim Carrey hadn't done much in the last decade, he is another one of those artists who feel suffocated by the shallow and empty Hollywood life. Then I stumbled upon a nifty little show made for comedians by a legendary comedian called "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee", my first reaction was searching for Jim Carrey's episode, and there it was. 

This was a few years back, the reason I bring this up is that it soothes me to know that fewer people are as alarmed as I was then after knowing that Jim is alive and well. In that episode with Jerry, he spoke about how much he is enjoying life through painting, the perfect therapy for a person who suffers depression the way he does. Then a few days ago, Jim uploaded a documentary about his experience with painting called "I Needed Color." Watching it reminded me of Robin Williams so much, I felt sad because I knew he wasn't able to find the proper therapy in time like Jim did. But I also felt happy because I saw hope in Carrey's words during the documentary, he knows he is the type of creative mind that needs to feel less involved in the world's problems because they hurt him on a fundamental level. 

Sadly, not all comedians have the fortitude or carelessness to find comedy in tragedy. People like Jim Carrey are compassionate souls who do their comedy with no intention to enrage anyone, other comedians don't care about that, and that's okay. Perhaps the British comics have a more relaxed way of approaching their craft, people like Jimmy Carr, Ricky Gervais, and Craig Ferguson don't take themselves that seriously. Maybe that's where their success is hidden in plain sight, not giving a fuck every once in a while and just letting the comedy flow can also be the answer sometimes. I sure do hope Jim Carrey comes back to act in great comedy movies like in the past, let's hope his new hobby fuels him with motivation, and we get a new timeless character to imitate until the world comes to an end. 

Keep that momentum going Jim, please don't make me miss you and cry for you as Robin did.

Cuando trato de echarte la culpa termino teniéndola yo

 All Linkin' Park pictures were grabbed from their official Twitter account.

All Linkin' Park pictures were grabbed from their official Twitter account.

By Sol Pérez-Pelayo

l  would be lying if I said that I was a huge fan, or that I had been thinking about that band or him or prophesying his death for the last couple of days. Even so, I do not condemn those who do, or those who suddenly camefans of the band or singer after his death. I'm not one of those people who criticize others because "they become fans" overnight of somethingthat becomes a trending topic because of a sudden Unfortunately we as artists are worth more dead than alive. I'm talking about the recent suicide of Chester Bennington, the lead singer of LINKIN PARK.

A famous person’s suicide is always news, it is not the first time even this year, (remembering the great Chris Cornell) that Facebook newsfeeds are invaded by the suicide or death of a singer or musician that somehow marked my life at a certain point. The first time I felt this particular pain that ached in my whore body but at the same time without a real location, it was with Kurt Cobain. I found that I could feel closer to these people whom I had never met in person than with the people I talked to on a daily basis. This is because the connection we share comes directly from that unrivaled feeling that a song has, when it touches you, as something ancient, as if it read something inside you that nothing and no one else can.

Since I was very young I have enjoyed listening to music, especially rock and metal. When I was growing up at the beginning of the millennium, a lot of things were changing, and although I spent all of my allowance on CDs, MP3s began to take over the music industry. Even though I was a fan of old school metal like Thrash, Black and American or European Death Metal, I began to take this new kind of music into my esteem. NÜ METAL was not only part of my formation and influence playing bass in my band but also in my development as a teenage girl with very different tastes in a world with a society that lives for stereotypes.

Thismusic genre differed from everything I had heard so far because it combined different styles. These were undoubtedly influenced by Heavy Metal,  the guitar riffs were repetitive and sticky the virtuoso solos of old Heavy Metal disappeared. The voices were a composition of clean vocals, combined with elements of hip hop, rap and even a little guttural screams. At the time I had not analyzed it so thoroughly. I was 14 years old in a world where I wanted to find my way, playing bass, in athletism or writing poems. But it was in music where I discovered a special sanctuary. I think that many of us participate in this almost psychopathic melomania, that exact moment where the world stops, when it breaks into a thousand pieces and each of them outlines a fraction of our personal soundtrack that forges our life and professes a context that illuminates that very moment, which is unique and will never again exist.

For those of us who were born in the last half of the 80s, became teenagers just as the millennium was about to crash it’s way into our lives like a hurricane. It's true that we had our whole life talking about this, we guessed that there would be flying cars and robots with a keen sense of humor as in the Jetsons, but as the date approached, it all seemed like a hallucination. I also remember during that this time, I discoveredgerman philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, someone who would stay with me the rest of my life. I read about nihilism and felt some sort of confort knownig that, like me, others had already felt this strange rage that perhaps was part of my development. A newly acquired hormonal behavior, of a type of adolescent angst without an specific justification, but that conformed a great part of my personality.

In a world where Rick Rubin was the producer of the greatest alternative bands of the world, I longed to find sense in my life through music everyday. I has already identified with musical lyrics before, when I discovered grunge. But Nü metal and Nietzsche came into my life just at the perfect moment. We clicked, iracound lyrics, frustration and the entering a millennium that becameless and less human, and dedicated to the earthly matters was part of what fashioned me.

Although I have always been more inclined towards the heavy, the brutal, the acidic kind of music, I found out one day that my unconditional love of Nordic Black Metal, Metallica and Sepultura and more recently acquired of Korn and Slipknot there was room for something that had never existed until then in my musical tastes. It was my weekly habit to go to the record stores and spend my last dime on records that I discovered on the radio program “El Despeñadero” or on “Metalmorfosis” in the radio of University of Guadalajara. On one of these trips I stumbled over with HYBRID THEORY. One shouldn´t judge a book by its cover right? I couldn´t agree more. Because despite the cover being absolutley hideous someonethings told me to check this band out, a band that I had never heard of but read about in Hit Parader.

I didn´t have to listen to it for long when the record became one of my favorite of the moment. It didn’t take long for me to look up more information about them and found a photo that reminds as one of the most intense memories I have of my teenage years. It was a photo that promoted Hybrid Theory; Chester Bennington´s arms tattooed with flames, just that without a face, and they framed a microphone. The photograph immediately enchanted my eyes. In my last year of middle school this photo became the cover of my English Lit notebook. Only in the United States this record sold 10 million copies,, whether we consider ourselves fans of the band or not, we would have to be diluted by not accepting that they were an influence of cardinal scale, at least in their genre. I would be a hypocrite to say that they did not mark my life in a way, at least with that album. It is true as I said at the beginning, that the band was no longer a one of my favorites, I didn´t listed to them or even knew that they had a new album. I had moved away a lot NÜ Metal and I am now where I love it most forever in Death and Black metal, genres that I have always listened to with singular joy and enthusiasm, so Linkin Park and Nü Metal did not last in my life.

When I speak about transcendence, the most valuable thing left to us by an artist or writer after their death is their legacy. One of my most conspicuous obsessions in both my life and in my writings is the idea of iving eternally through a work of art or literature that achieves transcendence defing time. It is the only way to live beyond the ethereal life we ave, to continue in this world even after or last breath.

With the news of Chester Bennington’s alleged suicide, which I found lamentable, the old ideas of suicide resurfaced in me. Suicide was a subject that obsessed me as a teenage, the idea of having control of your life to the point of being able to decide when to end it and not so much as a last or easy way out of a life which you can no longer deal with and you make the choice to depart from. Both points are reasons by which people may cease with their lives, but I was really intrigued by the idea of hy so many people that I admired committed suicide?

One of them most known Nietzschean theories is the Eternal Return; The same thing is repeated forever. But in a physical idea o nature, not involving things like reincarnation. But to someone who suffers a great deal, why would they want to repeat it all when death could end it? The idea of epeating the same thing involves the idea of Amor Fati or love for your fate. There is a will to live, but this would also mean that there is a will to die. The Will to Power also affirmed by Nietzsche creates the Übermensch who after announcing the death of God enters inevitable nihilism. The idea of he Eternal Return is perhaps a little frightening, since we know that the end of it all is death, but we often do no know the time, place or cause. If we put ourselves against infinity, time, space and the universe we would realize our own triviality, our existence is going to be reduced to living 70 something years and this against the eternity is an insignificance. Should we then decide to live a fuller life because of this, or we could decide to live intensely? Live thinking that everyday can be our last?

Perhaps it´s even unfair that Chester Bennington and Linkin Park were quite successful in their golden times, but it also true that they no longer enjoyed of total support from their so-called fans as it was at begining. Now that he has died, his fans may be collecting regrets, many of having abandoned him in his human and artistic journey, have resurfaced from the depths of their computers or perchance many are new. As I said, I do not condemn this, everyone knows what they do and what they say. The death of someone else opens up in us humans a certain feeling of guilt and trepidation, because we see in it our own death, our impotence to be able to do something, given that it is too late. It is at present too late for Chester, for all the people who called him poser or sellout or for those who stopped admiring him at their own  convenience. It is already late for all of them who still love him and that his death has left a gap in their lives, whether they were close to him personally or not. Nevertheless, it is only late in some way in this life, given the fact that t´s now imposible to to be able to do something more with it. Chester's suicide aroused in me these nihilistic feelings that I stumbled upon alongside his band and my intellectual guide. Philosophy and music will always be part of my life and leverage the way I see and analyze it

In any case, our Mexican idiosyncrasies of dealing with death in a humeours take or as a joke allows us to make pranks about tragedies as soon as possible. The memes or mockeries of something that started out as is something aberrant come sooner thatn ever. I am not sure if it is already something that conforms our Mexican geist or if we are already insensitive to the pain of others, which terrifies me. There are thousands of opinions about Chester´s suicide: if he was a selfish, that he was so famous, what about his family?, etc. The truth is that we can not and do not have the right to judge anyone, but I forget that in the networks we have all been like that, despotic judges of situations that are not of our concern, that everyone online feels that they are experts in all areas even if they have not studied the topic at all.

Until yesterday I hadn´t listened to the band ina long time, possibly and as many do it was because of thenostalgia I felt. I can honestly say that I shifted to my adolescence I was 15 years old again,  back then when I unveiled many things in my life and I returned to those years where I began to strengthen the roots that until now have kept me true myself. Nietzsche says: "The individual has always fought not to be absorbed by the tribe. If you try, you will often be alone, and sometimes scared. But no price is too high for the privilege of being oneself. "

Trying to put so much on you takes so much on me

 All Linkin' Park pictures were grabbed from the band's official  Twitter  page

All Linkin' Park pictures were grabbed from the band's official Twitter page

By Sol Pérez-Pelayo

Estaría mintiendo si dijera que yo era mega fan, o que tenía días pensando en esa banda o en él o profetizando su muerte. Aun así, tampoco voy a condenar a quienes lo hagan, o a los que de repente les entró un amor a la banda o al cantante a raíz de su muerte. No soy de las que critican a la gente porque “se hacen fans” de la noche a la mañana de algo que no conocían pero de pronto por algo como una muerte, se convierte en trending topic. Desgraciadamente los artistas valemos más muertos que vivos. Estoy hablando del reciente suicidio de Chester Bennington, el vocalista de LINKIN PARK.

 

El suicidio de una persona famosa siempre es noticia, no es la primera vez inclusive en este año, (basta recordar al gran Chris Cornell) que los newsfeeds de Facebook son invadidos por el suicidio o muerte de un cantante o músico que de algún modo marcó mi vida. La primera vez que sentí este dolor particular que me dolía por todos lados pero al mismo tiempo sin una localización real, fue con Kurt Cobain.

Así fueron suicidándose ídolos que yo aún sin conocer en persona, pude sentirme más cercana a ellos que con las personas con las que convivía a diario. Esto es, porque la conexión que compartimos es directa de ese sentimiento incomparable que te provoca una canción, cuando te toca, como algo antiguo, como si leyera algo dentro de ti que nada ni nadie mas puede.

Desde una edad muy temprana he disfrutado mucho de la música y sobre todo del rock y metal. Cuando yo estaba creciendo en el comienzo del milenio, muchas cosas se estaban innovando, y aunque yo gastaba hasta mi último “domingo” en CDs, los MP3 comenzaban a invadir la industria de la música. De cualquier modo, aunque yo era fan del metal vieja escuela como el Thrash, Black nórdico y Death americano o europeo, lo que me tocó disfrutar como parte de mi formación y no sólo musical tocando en mi banda, sino musical en formación como una chica con gustos no comunes en un mundo lleno de estereotipos, fue por supuesto y sin lugar a dudas, el llamado Nü Metal.

Este género se diferenciaba de todo lo que yo hasta entonces había escuchado porque combinaba diferentes estilos. Éstos tenían sin duda gran influencia del heavy metal, los riffs eran comunes y repetitivos mientras los solos virtuosos del antiguo heavy metal desaparecieron. Las voces eran una composición de vocales limpias, aunadas con elementos de hip hop, rap y hasta un poco de gutural. Todo esto en ese momento no lo había analizado con tanto detenimiento. Yo tenía 14 años en un mundo donde me buscaba encontrar camino, tocando el bajo, en el atletismo o escribiendo poemas. Pero fue en la música donde descubrí un refugio especial. Creo que muchos participamos de esta melomanía casi psicopática, de esa conmoción donde el mundo se detiene, se parte en mil pedazos y cada uno de ellos perfila una fracción de nuestro soundtrack personal que forja nuestra vida y nos profesa un contexto que ilumina ese momento, el cual es único y que nunca volverá a existir.

 

A los que nacimos en la última mitad de los 80s nos tocó ser adolescentes justo cuando el milenio estaba a punto de adherirse en nuestras vidas como un huracán. Es cierto que teníamos toda nuestra vida hablando de eso, que conjeturábamos que habría carros volando y robots con humor como en los Supersónicos, pero entre más se iba acercando la fecha, todo eso parecía una alucinación. Recuerdo también durante esta época haber descubierto a Friedrich Nietzsche, persona que se quedaría conmigo el resto de mi vida. Descubrí el nihilismo y qué como yo, habían existido ya escritores que sentían esta extraña rabia que quizás formaba parte de mí. De un comportamiento hormonal recién adquirido, de un tipo de enojo adolescente sin justificación específica, pero que conformó gran parte de mi personalidad. En un mundo donde Rick Rubin era el productor con las bandas alternativas más escuchadas del mundo, buscaba encontrarle sentido a mi vida por medio de la música cada día. Con estas letras me había identificado en el grunge, pero el Nü metal cayó justo en el momento perfecto.

Hicimos clic, las letras de enojo, de frustración y el entrar en un milenio cada vez menos humano, cada vez más dedicado a lo terrenal era parte de lo que conformaba mi dedicación a toda esta corriente en la cual crecí.

Aunque siempre me he inclinado más por lo pesado, lo brutal, lo ácido, encontré un día que dentro de mi amor incondicional al Black Metal nórdico, a Metallica,  a Sepultura y recientemente adquirido a Korn y a Slipknot había lugar para algo que nunca había existido hasta entonces en mis gustos musicales.Era mi hábito de cada semana, ir a las tiendas de discos y gastar hasta mi último centavo en discos que había descubierto en el programa de radio el Despeñadero o uno que existía hace mucho que se llamaba Metalmorfosis en radio Universidad de Guadalajara, cuando me topé con HYBRID THEORY. Se dice que no se debe de juzgar un libro por su portada, y estoy de acuerdo de eso,  porque la portada a mi gusto era espantosa, y como mencioné me gusta la música mas “pesada” en cambio, decidí darle a esta banda de la cual había leído en HIT PARADER pera que jamás había escuchado; LINKIN PARK una oportunidad.

 

 

A las pocas veces que lo escuché, el disco se convirtió  en uno de mis discos favoritos del momento. No tardé en buscar mas información y encontré una foto que es de los recuerdos más intensos que tengo de mi adolescencia. Era una foto promocionado el disco Hybrid Theory; eran los brazos tatuados con flamas de Chester Bennington, así sin cara, enmarcaban un micrófono y en seguida, encantaron mis pupilas En segundo de secundaria los brazos en flamas de Chester fueron la portada de mi cuaderno de English Literature. Tan sólo en los Estados Unidos vendieron 10 millones de copias de su álbum debut, seamos fans o no seamos fans, tendríamos que estar negados al no aceptar que fueron una influencia de cardinal escala, por lo menos en el género. Yo estaría siendo hipócrita al decir que no marcaron mi vida de algún modo, por lo menos con ese álbum. Es cierto como dije al comienzo, que ya no era seguidora la banda, que me había alejado mucho ya inclusive del NÜ Metal y me he quedado estacionada ya para siempre en el Death y el Black metal, géneros de los que siempre he escuchado con singular alegría y entusiasmo, por lo cuales Linkin Park y el Nü Metal no duraron en mi vida.

Hablando de la trascendencia, lo más valioso que nos deja un artista o un escritor es su legado. Una de mis obsesiones más pronunciadas tanto en mi vida como en mis escritos es la idea vivir eternamente mediante una obra que logre la trascendencia a través del tiempo. Es la única forma de vivir más allá de la vida etérea que tenemos, de que sigamos en el mundo aun después de haber dejado de respirar.

Con la noticia del supuesto suicidio de Chester Bennington, la cual de verdad encontré lamentable, resurgieron en mí las antiguas ideas del suicidio. El suicidio era un tema que me obsesionaba de adolescente, el tener el control de tu vida al punto de decidir cuando terminarla, no tanto como una última salida a una vida con la cual ya no puedes y decides dejar. Ambos puntos son vertientes por las cuales las personas quizás cesan con su vida, pero realmente me intrigaba la idea de ¿por qué tanta gente que yo admiraba se suicidaba?

Nietzsche habla de su teoría del Eterno Retorno; se repite lo mismo por siempre. Alguien que sufre mucho, ¿por qué querría repetir lo que con la muerte pudo acabar? La idea de repetir lo mismo involucra la idea de amor fati o el amor al destino. Hay voluntad de vivir, pero esto también implicaría que hay voluntad de morir. La voluntad de poder acuñada por Nietzsche crea al superhombre después de anunciar la muerte de Dios y entrar en nihilismo inevitable.  Resulta quizás un poco aterradora la idea del Eterno Retorno, pues sabemos que pasa al final siempre, sabemos que moriremos. Pero no sabemos la mayoría del tiempo cuanto nos queda de éste y ni la causa de nuestra muerte. Si nos ponemos contra el infinito, el tiempo, el espacio y el universo tendríamos la idea de que no somos nada en sí, nuestra existencia se va a reducir a si bien nos va 70 y pico de años y contra el tiempo eterno es una insignificancia. ¿Es que gracias a esto, pudiéramos decidir vivir intensamente? ¿Vivir pensando en que podría ser el último día?

Haciendo un paralelismo, quizás hasta medio injusto; Chester Bennington y Linkin Park tuvieron en su tiempo bastante éxito, pero era cierto que ya no gozaban de tal ni de total apoyo de sus fans como lo fue en un principio. Ahora que ha muerto, y que ha decidido voluntariamente dejar este plano, sus fans quizás arrepentidos muchos de haberlo abandonado en su camino como seguidores, han resurgido de las profundidades de sus ordenadores o quizás muchos sean nuevos. Como dije, yo no condeno esto, cada quien sabe que hace y lo que dice. La muerte de alguien más abre en los humanos un cierto sentimiento de culpa y de miedo, porque vemos en ella nuestra propia muerte, nuestra impotencia de poder hacer algo, porque ya es demasiado tarde. Ya es demasiado tarde para Chester, para toda la gente que le llamó poser  o vendido o que dejó de admirarlo a conveniencia. Ya es tarde también para todos ellos que aún lo quieren y que su muerte ha dejado un hueco en su vida, hayan sido sus cercanos o no. No obstante, sólo es tarde de algún modo para la vida, para poder hacer algo más con ella. El suicidio de Chester despertó en mí estos sentimientos nihilistas que descubrí a la par de su banda y de mi guía intelectual. La filosofía y la música siempre van a formar parte de mi vida y de la forma en que la veo y la analizo.

De cualquier manera, nuestra idiosincrasia mexicana de tratar con la muerte como algo chusco nos permite hacer bromas de las tragedias a la brevedad posible. Los memes o mofas de algo que un principio es algo aberrante no se hacen esperar. No estoy segura si es ya algo de nuestro geist mexicano o si de plano ya estamos insensibles ante el dolor ajeno, cosa que me aterroriza. Hay miles de opiniones: que si era un egoísta, que de que le servía tanta fama, familia etc. La verdad es que no podemos ni tenemos derecho a juzgar a nadie, pero se me olvida que en las redes todos hemos sido así, jueces déspotas de situaciones que en verdad no nos incumben, que hay expertos en todo aunque no hayan estudiado nada.

Hasta ayer tenía mucho tiempo que no escuchaba a la banda y quizás como muchos dicen sólo por el furor o el recuerdo los puse. Puedo decir honestamente que me transporté a mi adolescencia, de nuevo tenía 15 años, descubría muchas cosas en mi vida y regresaba esos años donde empecé a fortalecer las raíces que hasta ahora me han mantenido fiel a mí misma. Dice Nietzsche: “el individuo ha luchado siempre para no ser absorbido por la tribu. Si lo intentas, a menudo estarás solo, y a veces asustado. Pero ningún precio es demasiado alto por el privilegio de ser uno mismo”.

Sergio Brown nos lleva a la Docu-Ficción autobiográfica

 Foto por 'Checo' Brown

Foto por 'Checo' Brown

Por Pavel Ibarra Meda

Una de las principales razones por las que fue creado Kinofilia, es por el amor incondicional que he tenido por el cine desde que tengo memoria. Recuerdo los días en los que iba a mi tienda de video donde rentaba todos los VHS que podía y los devoraba en cuestión de horas, esto es mucho antes de que el internet se convirtiera en este monstruo tan prominente que el día de hoy domina la cadena alimenticia en el mundo del consumo. Pero hay una rama del cine que no conocí hasta que estaba más grande, ya como preparatoriano en la ciudad de Tijuana. 

Fueron los tiempos en los que se dieron todos los eventos del 11 de Septiembre, en aquellos años conocí el cine documental gracias a Michael Moore y su 'Masacre en Columbine', después pude analizar detenidamente su 'Farenheit 9/11'. Pero el documental lo conocí de una manera más íntima gracias a una de las principales figuras del género en la frontera, un maestro que cada que puede alza la voz y el lente cuando ve una injusticia. Un nativo del municipio de Rosarito, que por mucho tiempo adoptó a la ciudad de Tijuana como su casa, pero siempre mantuvo gran parte de su alma cerca de la brisa y la arena del 'pueblito' contiguo. 

A 'Checo' lo conocí por casualidad, me tocó ver un anuncio de unas clases de cine gratis en la Universidad CESUN. Rápidamente le dije a mis amigos para ver quién se animaba a ir, aprender cine es algo que siempre he perseguido de una manera u otra. Esta era mi oportunidad para por fin ver un poco más de cerca esta manera de contar historias, de hacer arte. Pero no estaba preparado para la experiencia que me esperaba, me encontraría con uno de los profesores más pasionales que jamás ví impartir una materia en un salón de clases. Desde el primer día mientras nos contaba sobre la historia del cine, de los revolucionarios hermanos Lumiere, del visionario Georges Mèliès, o del virtuoso Jean-Luc Godard, me di cuenta que compartíamos un amor por el cine igual de intenso. Sentía que había encontrado un oásis, mis amigos se dieron cuenta por lo profusas de mis pláticas después de las clases. 

 

Después por cuestiones del destino dejé de tener contacto con él, nunca dejé de consumir cine, fueran de ficción o documentales. Hasta que por allá del 2008 que todos nos conectamos a redes sociales casi por osmosis, tuve la oportunidad de toparlo en un bar por el centro de Tijuana. Era obvio que él no me recordaba, pero sí que recordaba esas clases de Loops Urbanos que impartió a varias ávidas mentes de preparatoria. Yo no vivía en Tijuana en ese entonces, pero en el primer momento que lo vi en redes sociales, no dudé en hacer contacto por ahí para continuar siguiendo su conversación hacia el mundo. 

Una vez que me empecé a familiarizar más con su contenido, me di cuenta porqué es tan apasionado por el cine documental. 'Checo' Brown es un documentalista/activista que siempre se ha preocupado por problemáticas sociales tanto a nivel nacional como local. Si en algún momento he tenido instinto periodístico, éste nació por primera vez de una inquietud por preguntarle sobre sus razones detrás de esta pasión por hacer estas películas. 

Sobre la experiencia de dar el curso de tres días a alumnos que llegaron al CEART de Rosarito (yo incluido), 'Checo' abrió la entrevista dándonos una extensa explicación de cómo fue todo el proceso: "Isa, que trabaja en el CEART de Rosarito me propuso trabajar con ellos. Pero lo consideré hasta que había una nueva directora porque había tenido disputas políticas con el anterior director de la institución. En el año 2009 éramos facciones artístico/políticas contrarias, cuando a él lo nombraron director del CEART ni siquiera me quise acercar. Realmente nos pegamos con todo en aquel entonces, hubo 4 meses de manifestaciones, escritos, críticas, confrontaciones, fue un desmadre. El documental que trata de ese tema está por hacerse, entonces por eso no me había acercado."

"Cuando vi en el periódico que cambiaron de director, fue cuando decidí acercarme con un proyecto en tres facetas. Primero les propuse una conferencia para ir abriendo el tema, luego voy a dar una clase magistral y después, abrir un taller. Me dijeron que sí, en la conferencia fueron 15 personas y en el curso no esperábamos que fuera tanta gente. Para esta clase magistral esperábamos unas 18 personas y terminaron asistiendo más de 25."

"Dando este curso específico con este formato lo empecé en 2014 con un amigo que se llama Pavel Valenzuela, él es mi socio con el que tengo una compañía. Soy parte de una sociedad con Pavel, tengo otro proyecto con un amigo mío de la infancia sobre cine documental, y aparte tengo los proyectos externos en los que siempre he colaborado."

"Pavel fue mi alumno primero por allá del año 2000, después nos hicimos compas y yo le edité su tesis, que fue una video tesis. Después de ahí empezamos a hacer varios proyectos juntos, él se fue a estudiar su maestría en antropología visual a Barcelona un par de años y entre que se fue y regresó estuvimos trabajando tres documentales que se extendieron un poco porque se fue. Cuando regresó empezamos otros y fue ahí cuando CEART Tijuana nos hizo una propuesta para desarrollar un taller, antes de eso dimos un intensivo en el CUT, di otro en Transmedios. Esta es la quinta vez que doy este taller."

"La cinematografía es un campo que en esta zona del país no está tan trabajado, se ha estado construyendo en los últimos veinte años. Aquí en Rosarito tuve una experiencia muy satisfactoria. Yo creo firmemente que bajo el método que yo trabajo, cualquier persona que tenga la disposición de convertirse en artista documental lo puede lograr. Yo sostengo que bajo los métodos que yo trabajo, cualquier persona puede hacer buenos documentales. Yo tengo esa idea de que si un ser humano es capaz de algo, cualquier otro puede hacerlo. Incluso estoy convencido que muchos luego lo harán mejor que yo. Como primer reflexión, a mi me interesa que vaya gente que ya tiene un conocimiento previo, pero también me interesan las personas que llegan por ese impulso de conocer algo nuevo que probablemente siempre estuvieron buscando pero no habían podido conectar."

Sobre su decisión de irse por el lado más antropológico del cine documental y sus ideologías personales dijo: "Tiene que ver más con mi formación artística personal, las influencias que tengo, el tipo de pensamiento que he llevado. Esta forma de pensar tiene que ver con poder hacer una comunión entre mis intereses personales individuales y la comunidad. A mi me toca ser parte de un momento de la historia de nuestra región, en el cuál los proyectos de mayor trascendencia eran colectivos."

"Por un lado yo tengo una formación política de izquierda formada en particular por una escuela del movimiento zapatista mexicano de finales del siglo XX y principios del XXI. La irrupción del movimiento indígena en la política mexicana me hizo entender la distancia socioeconómica entre las clases en México y la desaparición por siglos de los indígenas. Ahí fue donde tuve una conexión muy importante con la gente que como decían los mismos zapatistas, no tenían voz."

Sobre el impulso de documentar injusticias a su criterio, 'Checo' expresó que: "Yo tengo muy claro que la historia es una confrontación de puntos de vista, entonces si me enojo por esa confrontación el que va a salir dañado soy yo. Durante mi carrera, he pasado por un proceso en el cuál me he tenido que desligar de lo personal. Lo que hago es conectarme con mis ideas sin importarme que haya conflictos o discusiones con el otro, todo eso lo veo natural en mi trabajo."

A cerca de la adrenalina de hacer documentales sobre temas tabú, 'Checo' mencionó que: "En el documental que he estado haciendo durante mi carrera, prácticamente he registrado los movimientos socio/políticos de la región donde no he tenido conflictos porque soy parte de los movimientos. Yo voy a grabar las manifestaciones en defensa del petróleo, voy a grabar las manifestaciones en contra de los fraudes electorales, grabo manifestaciones en contra de la desaparición de los 43 estudiantes de Ayotzinapa. De una u otra manera son grupos con los que siento algún tipo de afinidad, sí me ha arriesgado pero trato de no hacerlo."

También habló sobre haber probado la fama internacional, nuestro entrevistado nos hizo un recordatorio de los momentos más significativos en su profesión: "A lo largo de mi carrera he compartido mi experiencia con muchos amigos cercanos que a lo largo de 18 o 20 años, juntos hemos ido creciendo en el aspecto creativo. A lo largo de este periodo, he podido observar que ese movimiento ha tenido un cambio de pasar de las modalidades de representación clásica como las explicativas o expositivas; se han empezado a buscar las nuevas manifestaciones dentro del documental que viene siendo la docu-ficción aparte de las que mencioné."

"Este nuevo género permite adentrarse a ciertos modelos más creativos que permiten hacer ficción dentro del documental y esto a su vez amplían las posibilidades artísticas del realizador. En casi todos los jóvenes que me ha tocado apoyar, casi todos se quedan en el documental basado en la entrevista que tiene que ver con la historia de alguien más y no de ellos mismos. Pienso que los ejercicios autobiográficos como los que propuse en esta clase, pueden ser una forma de sanación psíquica. Esto se ha trabajado ya en el teatro, pero ahora en el documental va a empezarle a pasar a muchos realizadores como me ha pasado a mi, un cambio positivo. El mensaje que yo voy a dar es ese, tienen que hacer este género del documental porque los va a ayudar a cambiar. Si tú cambias a través del cine, no necesitas que alguien más vea tu película porque lo único que necesitas es cambiar tú."

Para poder ilustrarnos más sobre lo que hace, el señor Brown nos habló de uno de sus ya tres documentales que forman una trilogía: "Para poner un ejemplo, en el caso de 'Huracán 76'; en esta historia me voy viendo a mi al mismo tiempo que voy observando a la sociedad. Aquí voy planteando a través de una serie de discursos, la explicación de un entorno histórico/político en el cuál se desarrolla la vida de un personaje (que en este caso soy yo). Empezamos hablando del '68, hasta los movimientos políticos de los '70, hablamos del Zapatismo, de las luchas de resistencia en contra de los fraudes electorales y finalmente, hablamos del contexto contemporáneo de la imposición de Enrique Peña Nieto junto con la desaparición de los 43 normalistas de Ayotzinapa."

"Aquí las películas que son autobiográficas a su vez están inscritas en una circunstancia histórica que ubica al sujeto (mi historia), dentro de una sociedad. Yo como documentalista también, soy el que se ha dedicado a documentar ese proceso. Básicamente muestro imágenes que se van a convertir en registros de la Revolución Mexicana, esto quiere decir que la Revolución Mexicana no va a pasar dentro de 5 años, ya está sucediendo desde hace mucho tiempo. Esas imágenes en las cuales me inserto yo como documentalista dentro de una modalidad autobiográfica, creo que estoy dejando un testimonio para que estos hechos humanos no se desvanezcan en el tiempo o en el concepto de historia como decía Herodoto."

 Presentación del libro 'Huracán 76'.

Presentación del libro 'Huracán 76'.

Sobre su nuevo documental Saicología, Checo nos muestra un lado muy íntimo de su experiencia de vida en el que ha tenido que luchar con varios de los más grandes obstáculos en su vida: "En términos generales, te puedo decir que es la historia de un escritor (yo mismo) que escribe un libro con ese nombre y en el proceso de la escritura va mostrando qué significa ser un escritor. Describo mi día a día como escritor, describo los detalles de todo lo que hago. A su vez soy un activista social que tiene colaboraciones artísticas con personas que son mis amigos."

 Still del documental, 'Saicología'.

Still del documental, 'Saicología'.

"Saicología significa un viaje hacia mi interior, un viaje con la noche obscura de mi alma, con mi sombra más profunda. Este libro se detona a partir de una cosa terrible que me pasó: lo que pasó fue que en el entorno más cercano de mi familia hubo dos casos de agresión sexual a menores de edad que fueron encubiertas por mi hermana. La persona que cometió este delito de pederastia es su pareja, quien era mi cuñado pero ya no lo considero así, él agredió a su propia hija y a mi sobrina siendo menores de edad. Yo me entero de todo lo que pasó tiempo después, evidentemente no podía dejarlo pasar desapercibido tanto en lo emotivo como en mis pensamientos. Estos sucesos me llevan a la que ha sido la peor crisis de mi vida hasta ahorita, considerando que ya he tenido unas muy fuertes como la muerte de mi madre cuando yo tenía 21 años, o la muerte de mi padre cuando tenía 28."

La manera en la que me contó sobre estos sucesos tan fuertes y viscerales en el momento de la entrevista, me ayudó a conocer un lado más personal de 'Checo', me ayudó a darme cuenta de dónde viene esa inquietud interminable por contar historias de crítica social que logra transformarlas en relatos que pueden llegarse a percibir como muy íntimos o personales. La razón de esto es toda la experiencia que le ha regalado el haber perdido a personas tan valiosas en su vida a una edad tan temprana, pero también sentí que el tema central de Saicología era el más complicado para él porque las personas afectadas en el percance aún están vivas. Entonces me entró la inquietud de saber de qué manera había canalizado tal acontecimiento, después de la primer entrevista el documental aún no estaba terminado. 

Debido a esto, yo sentía que mi entrevista no estaba conclusa hasta que pudiera ver tranquilamente Saicología. Por suerte, para 'Checo' era importante que una persona fuera de su círculo social pudiera ver su producto semi-terminado para así poder agregarle cualquier tipo de arreglo o elemento que pudiera mejorar el filme. Unas semanas después, 'Checo' tuvo la cortesía de invitarme a su casa a ver el docu y no me lo pensé dos veces. Llevé un doce de cerveza artesanal de la Baja, y fui con toda la intención de cerrar un ciclo de entendimiento que me iba a permitir terminar este análisis del personaje que tanto me ha intrigado a lo largo del tiempo que lo he conocido. 

Me di cuenta que dentro de esta última pieza de la trilogía, él se adentró en definiciones y estudios que se encargaron de revelarle lo obscura que puede llegar a ser una persona. Dentro de la experiencia de filmar su día a día, o mejor dicho, noche a noche sin que los demás se dieran cuenta; el espectador del filme (en este caso yo), iba a poder definir la manera tan profunda en la que lo afectó este acontecimiento tan difícil de vivir. Pude ver a su familia más querida, que son sus amigos, compartir con él los momentos complicados después de este suceso y ayudarlo a aguantarlos de alguna manera, y superarlos al final. 

Pero a pesar de lo que podamos ver como espectadores, yo soy de los que piensa que en un estudio autobiográfico documental, el espectador realmente nunca va a comprender completamente el mensaje que el realizador desea transmitir. Para mi, los trabajos de este tipo tienen mucho que ver con la subjetividad, ya que no todos vivimos de la misma forma la experiencia de la vida. No todos los individuos experimentamos momentos exactamente iguales o similarmente traumáticos, comparado con otras personas; es por eso que cada persona va a tener una experiencia distinta cuando tenga la oportunidad de ver el producto. 

Durante la proyección de la película, me di cuenta de lo mucho que se adentra en el proceso a pesar de haberla visto ya miles de veces. Su proceso es el de ir viendo cada detalle para mejorar aspectos con cada proyección que le muestra a diversos espectadores, esto con la finalidad de nunca proyectar el mismo producto; a esta práctica se le llama cine vivo de acuerdo con 'Checo'. En la entrevista me quedó claro, que estamos ante un maestro del cine documental que ya ha probado las mieles del éxito durante su época con el colectivo de música electrónica llamado Nortec. La intención que tiene 'Checo' ya es distinta a la que tenía cuando era joven. Si bien el impulso por siempre tratar de compartir su conocimiento a través de la enseñanza sigue intacto, incluso más fuerte que nunca.

 

'Checo' se ha dado cuenta que él necesitaba una auto-exploración a través de su arte. Para él, la mejor manera de lidiar con los problemas personales siendo un artista, es haciendo cine y expresando su sentir por medio del arte. Para mi en lugar de terapia, puedo darme cuenta que él tiene más que suficiente con seguir manteniendo su ímpetu creativa en constante movimiento. A esto yo le agregaría su buena predisposición de protestar por injusticias que ve en la sociedad, una reacción natural que como seres humanos traemos en los genes, el problema es que algunos se distraen o anestesian al consumir productos que los alejan de la realidad en la que vivimos. Pero 'Checo' no se deja distraer, él sigue alerta y siempre dispuesto a levantar la cámara para documentar lo que considera importante. También, nunca está de más tener a tus amigos que te tiendan una mano cuando estás caído, que te puedan llenar de amor cuando más lo necesitas. El señor Brown está bien cubierto de todo esto, por eso sus productos contienen esa preponderancia. 

Le agradecemos a Sergio Brown Figueredo que nos haya compartido de una forma tan cercana su obra en forma de trilogía, también le agradecemos que nos haya compartido su amor por el cine documental y conocimiento. En una entrevista futura, trataremos de abordar más sobre sus aventuras con Nortec y los proyectos de Bostich + Fussible que en estos momentos están teniendo mucho reconocimiento internacional. 

YOUNG THUG IS HERE WITH A FUCKING GOOD ALBUM

By Ben Magana

Utilizing a hybrid acoustic guitar with tambourine a lá Country, through authentic down-home feel; this seems real. Haphazardly as it is his trademark and modus operandi, Jeffery Williams under his professional alias Young Thug proudly states to the four winds that Family Don´t Matter. In his liquid and reptilian style of rhyme-&-sing, Millie Go Lightly accompanies the Atlanta-native in this the opener from his new album, BEAUTIFUL THUGGER GIRLS. The nihilistic (non/anti) ethos that the album swifts into under the abstract syncopation in the second track where, just as it happened with the album opener, Young Thug’s intention is not to make his words be the meaning, but rather it seems that when he repeats, ’til Infinity, ’til Infinity, etc. he wants himself to be meaning  reflected under this dense but with enough stop-gaps (a trademark of his live act), he is the meaning and the music is just a means for him to rid of this seemingly facile task of making each track a party staple no matter the situation. With Go Lightly accompanying him again, by the third song titled She Wanna Party, now the mood is enhanced with trap beats and a languid atmosphere, this is among Young Thug’s most inviting songs yet. Also notable is the amount of singing he develops as each song unfolds, despite the usual lyrics of pills, girls and thrills that enunciate the kind of escapism the current world desperately needs. Thug is here to deliver the needs of music fans as no one has done recently since Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN two months ago. 

The smooth groove that swings in his personal ode to his family, Daddy’s Birthday, where the lifestyle is intertwined what appears to be affection and perhaps, love? An exaggeration could be, as it also happens on this album as it does with all his work, a mystique of vapidity permeates the album. This time out though, it is a solid artistic development, Do U Love Me goes to a 90’s Nelly galaxy where the party that the album certainly seems to conduct. The complexity of the music as a whole is undoubtedly for sure. On his collaborations with Future, Relationship seems like a summer hit at first glance, all the right ingredients for a hot summer dancefloor full of what the lyrics themselves describes, lots of women interacting in different scenarios, but somehow always there is some codeine, yachts, jet-skis and lots of fucking in-between, all the things that fuckin’ encapsulates anyway. You Said brings back the acoustic guitar of the album opener, though this time his beats and his powerful and melodic howl is there for the taking as he sing let’s get freaky here sing it now, Jeffery, sing that right now. On Fire they all give a jungle atmosphere with those bongos and those sticks that make for the beat in unison with his ever-present drum sequencer companion. The mood engages here with sighing sonic hallucinations, a knotty minimalism as he musically converses about his molly and red bull intake. 

It is here that Mr Snoop Dogg addresses his nephew, Jeffery himself, to make this the album’s cannabis showpiece, and by far the sexiest track of the album, a surefire hit given the chance. One of the major merits the album, with its lyrics of strains and G-Funk-meets-trap innovation, lets the listener know in its tenth track that it is an addicting ode to camel toes, lovely appreciated while they all Get High. Feel It finds Young Thug singing his ass out, all he can about how he can, or if and how does the listener feels by this time of the hypnotic thirtysomething minutes into the album, and the rhymes that fly at such overwhelming velocity that it compares to witnessing some kind of hallucination of falling stars under some drug combination with all the boyz and the bitchez down with him. Me or Us is a tongue-in-cheek full attempt at country-flavored pop, a somehow intriguing concept, Young Thug strumming his guitar while singing/rhyming random predicaments such as his joy of smoking weed in Japan. 

 

By the time the beat kicks in on Oh Yeah, the piano-led song that so far most resembles his former material, in particular his last release, Jeffery. The melodies this time around transcend and certainly arouse even the most casual listener into admiration. Young Thug has grabbed the position one of the most relevant artist of 2017, this is what someone might say by the time the acoustic guitar and trumpets starts to give close to an album that has the necessary components to be on repeat for the time being. Williams says Take Care after describing a multitude of circumstances all juxtaposing each on the other with absolutely no fucks given in the the last track, where he closes it in fact insinuating he is leaving somehow. He has said in interviews he doesn’t think he’s going to live long. He supposedly lives on Xanax, MDMA, water, soda and a daily injection of vitamins. The lyrics at times seem to offer clues into what he really is about, even though it never seems that’s his intention to do so. Let's all listen again.

NSUB#8

Via The NSubordinate:

NSUB issue #EIGHT has just landed!!! This project has been a long journey and was done over the past 4 years. Thank you to everyone who contributed and have been patient in this project. It is now available for your viewing pleasure at the link above. Featuring the work of @jross_o @mikesumoto @jackietannnn @mikevirus @intbk and also a big shout out to my muse @carmineeve for all the inputs during the tedious editing process.

Lucius

     Vocal butterflies Holly Laessig and Jess Wolfe metamorphosized their fans hearts at The Fillmore in San Francisco. The pair of magnetic female matadors hypnotized the crowd with their blood-orange and gold capes, with swirling sequins and tattered off fringes. Their two powerful respective voices shatter all other conventional music performances with their creative and simple dedication to sharing a single microphone and dressing in the same elegant getups. Behind them is the compliment of Peter Lalish, Andrew Burri, and Dan Molad. Masters of their own trade of various guitars and drums. Together they shine the light of Lucius. 

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Holly and Jess are known for creating an atmosphere of magical surrealism through the madness of their appearance, their energy, and dynamic lyrics. Their new record "Good Grief" has a familiar feel taking listeners to a lost time with strong reflective elements and known patterns that make you feel at home. Lucius harnesses a carefully stitched radiance of new age rhythms with precision vocals, giving way to releasing tensions and summoning new freedoms.

            


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Having been on tour for the past year Lucius has taken on the challenges of the road successfully. Their success was predestined since joining together almost a decade ago at Berklee College of Music in Boston. The now LA based band ventures across the globe washing down fans with torrents of soothing lyrics and promises of unity through shared experiences and a love for music. 

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 The sold out crowd at The Fillmore gathered shoulder to shoulder, moving their feet to "let's dance", and singing along in mumbling breaths to songs as powerful as "My Heart Got Caught on Your Sleeve" and "Gone Insane". Lucius is a group that is unique and captivating, giving fans an escape from reality. Lucius is a radiant light that journeys from the hearts of Holly and Jess, piercing into their fans musical capacities. Lucius is a must see if given the chance. Go out of your way to listen to their new album "Good Grief". 

 

 

 

-Hemal Lalabhai

Aj (aka) stitchands

AJ (aka) stitchhands is a photographer from Southern CA. He enjoys nature and casual sex. His pictures are a clear example of his lifestyle. You can find him lurking down your local grocery store alcohol isle or hiding behind a bush in front of the girl next door's house. His real passion is taking care of animals. He volunteers countless hours a week caring for sick puppies and kittens at your local rescue shelter. His latest rescue was a 4 yr old dachshund he found hiding behind a dumpster.

Lo Moon

(source: buzzbands.la)

Title: Lo Moon, “Loveless”

Author: Anthony Gin

 

Crosses in the distance bells ring fast

Loveless in our shelter time will pass

Would you take a chance on us?

Could you take a chance on us?

Yes, Lo Moon I will take a chance on you. Hauntingly cadenced melodies with vocals that edge on the verge of, but never cross the line into, emotional cloy, LA-Trio Lo Moon’s new single, Loveless, instantly entrances. Loveless tugs on nostalgic heartstrings without making me feel like I’m two fingers too deep into a pit of sorrow. The soundscape has been compared with Sigur Ros, but the ethereal texture has been supplemented by the rhythmic minimalism of the xx.  Bruce Warren of WXPN describes the single best as a “stop-you-in-your tracks kind of song…[with] a big sound that’s as intimate as it is anthemic.”[1]  It’s no small feat for a band to create a seven-minute single that leaves the ears wanting.

  Lo Moon consists of Matt Lowell (vocals/guitar/keyboard), Cristana Baker (guitar/bass/backing vocals) and lead guitarist Samuel Stewart. The first lines of the band’s seven-minute track are caressed by Lowell’s longing vocals, but the real hit is when his voice intertwines with the angelic backing of Cristana Baker. Baker’s voice is simultaneously subtle and all-encompassing; it creeps unnoticed - deliberately filling the void with a slow shimmer until it lifts you in a cocoon of bright harmony and takes you away. Stop, you’re making me feel things.             

Lo Moon consists of Matt Lowell (vocals/guitar/keyboard), Cristana Baker (guitar/bass/backing vocals) and lead guitarist Samuel Stewart. The first lines of the band’s seven-minute track are caressed by Lowell’s longing vocals, but the real hit is when his voice intertwines with the angelic backing of Cristana Baker. Baker’s voice is simultaneously subtle and all-encompassing; it creeps unnoticed - deliberately filling the void with a slow shimmer until it lifts you in a cocoon of bright harmony and takes you away. Stop, you’re making me feel things.

 

 

 

 

  I had the opportunity to see the band play this past Tuesday at the Belasco Theater in Downtown LA and I’m excited for what’s to come. Loveless is just a taste, and their upcoming 2017 work on Columbia Records has been produced in part by Chris Walla (formerly of Death Cab for Cutie). The album is not the band’s first go-round. Its members have had previous projects, but it seems they’ve found something special here. Last month, Walla    praised    the new album via Twitter calling it the “soundtrack to [his] year.”     The band has been playing local shows all over LA. While they’ve just left on a two-show journey to the East Coast, they will be coming back to play the    Rickshaw Stop (SF)    on November 28th and    Bootleg Theater (LA)    on November 29th. Check out the song and the accompanying visuals in the video below or on Spotify. As Kevin Bronson of Buzzbands says in his    Ears Wide Open column   , “lose yourself for a few minutes.”       

I had the opportunity to see the band play this past Tuesday at the Belasco Theater in Downtown LA and I’m excited for what’s to come. Loveless is just a taste, and their upcoming 2017 work on Columbia Records has been produced in part by Chris Walla (formerly of Death Cab for Cutie). The album is not the band’s first go-round. Its members have had previous projects, but it seems they’ve found something special here. Last month, Walla praised the new album via Twitter calling it the “soundtrack to [his] year.”

The band has been playing local shows all over LA. While they’ve just left on a two-show journey to the East Coast, they will be coming back to play the Rickshaw Stop (SF) on November 28th and Bootleg Theater (LA) on November 29th. Check out the song and the accompanying visuals in the video below or on Spotify. As Kevin Bronson of Buzzbands says in his Ears Wide Open column, “lose yourself for a few minutes.”

 

 

[1] Source: Lo Moon, ‘Loveless,’ Bruce Warren - WXPN, NPR available at http://www.npr.org/sections/world-cafe/2016/09/24/495008563/heavy-rotation-10-songs-public-radio-cant-stop-playing

Mexican Art = Felipe Zaldivar

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Por Mike Torres

Felipe creció en un ambiente artístico pues varios familiares se dedican a la rama, al ser su madre maestra de artes se desenvolvió en un contexto lleno de materiales con los cuales a veces jugaba. Su primer encuentro con clases de pintura fue en el parque Colomos en donde tomó aproximadamente un año del curso. Al aburrirse de la rutina lo dejó. 

No fue hasta después de 10 años cuando en preparatoria con clases larguísimas y sumamente aburridas comenzó a dibujar, tomándole un gusto como nunca antes. Continuó haciéndolo y pronto se vio inmerso trabajando con el acrílico sobre canvas, fue entonces cuando descubrió el trabajo de Alex Grey y supo que quería pintar y crear el resto de su vida. Hoy la pintura con acrílicos aunque con altibajos, como todo, sigue fielmente a su lado.

Para entonces, Felipe no veía a la pintura más que como un hobby, algo a lo que quería dedicarse en la vida pero no profesionalmente, pues no creía que pudiera trascender; intentando por varios lados como la orfebrería contemporánea, el diseño industrial, la escultura, la fotografía, el video etc. Se dio cuenta que nada lo llenaba como las artes, y pasara lo que pasara siempre encontró refugio detrás de los pinceles. Hoy en día es su profesión.

 

Ha trabajado en colectivos como Cabezas Cuadradas y Arte En Tu Ciudad, ha participando en festivales como el Metting of Styles Guadalajara 2015 o Vinylfest en Larva. También trabajó con LaPetite colectivo de Q.Roo con los cuales tuvo la oportunidad de exponer tanto en Cancun como en Miami, EU. Ha expuesto en diversos puntos de la ciudad, Kukuruchos entre las más importartes. Hoy en día cuenta con dos exhibiciones individuales y aproximadamente 15 colectivas.

Actualmente estudia la Licenciatura en Artes en el Instituto Cultural Cabañas por parte de la Secretaria de Cultura Jalisco, con la intención de tener un sentido crítico de lo que propone, para poder expresar y llevar su contenido hasta las últimas consecuencias.

If you forget me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loveing me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en esa día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

Pero
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.

Pablo Neruda

 

Sara Long

Sara Long works and lives in Seattle, WA. She was born and raised deep in the Redwood Forest in Humboldt County, CA. Sara graduated from the University of Washington in 2008 with a BFA in Painting and Drawing. In 2012 she opened Blindfold Gallery with Laura Hamje and Scott Burk.
Sara's paintings derive from videos she makes in her apartment durning emotionally charged moments of intimacy. They are extreme self-portraits.

http://saraannlong.com/home.html

 

Fade Out: Painless Suicide

Via Comixology

Kurt wants to kill himself, but has no idea how to do it without going to Hell, letting his friends down or disappointing his mom. Also, he hates the taste of the gun. Before he dies, Kurt has to take care of his crazy girlfriend, as well as the perfect girl he just met, all while trying to catch a serial killer. How will Kurt commit Painless Suicide?

"Fade Out: Painless Suicide" is a sarcastic, reflective drama with acid, dark humor that offers an unique look at the generation Y. An award winning graphic novel from Brazilian team comprised of writer Beto Skubs, artist Rafael de Latorre and colorist Marcelo Maiolo.


Solomun Boiler Room

This Bosnian genius has been bashing on dance floors around the world for over 10 years now. His music can be described as a style of house with powerful, deep, ultra-funky bass lines, and the added bonus of nostalgic and moving voice samples. The combination creates one of the best live acts and dj sets in the world today. 

Recently, he demonstrated his top tracks on the dance floors of Tulum, Mexico (see link). The over-two-hour set he gives in the video is a true manifestation of his evolution throughout his career. The venue was none other than the world-famous Boiler Room in the now-legendary Diynamic Takeover party that went down in January 2015. Turn up the volume and enjoy this top-class performance. 

Written by Staff